I love living here but I hate living here. I am constrained by my own conditioning. The urge to break free bubbles strongly beneath. I hate this climate. If I could differentiate clearly between my emotional understanding of climate and culture, between the phenomenology of living in a box surrounded by rainy gray skies and the expectation of working alone like a rat in a box with the desire for sunlight and fewer mind boxes to lose myself inside and a culture that pulls me in smilingly and openly because the focus is less on work and more on human relations then maybe I wouldn't be stuck in this Marxist conundrum.
