I'm opening up the last month of the year with a realization. That you can't always tie things up with a pretty bow when they unravel. You can't always get some formulaic, content form of "closure," some clear and comfy ending to the narrative.
Sometimes, you have to leave things messy and disgusting, because that's how they're going to be no matter what you do. Maybe, just maybe, if you leave that mess alone it can biodegrade on its own (hopefully it's biodegradable,) and the worms will slowly reincorporate it into the earth and peace will come back to you eventually. It's even possible that with time something new and dazzling will grow from that wretched putrification...but you have to let that shit do it's thing.
I have loved deeply but love isn't always enough. We have this fantasy in our culture that once Cupid's arrow hits, there's a happy ending in clear site. Maybe this myth is hurtful to our psyches because it's too simplistic and doesn't actually capture what happens in life.
Two people have to work to understand each other and to fuse a path that they want to walk together. The pleasure and delight and even the passion of it isn't enough to fuse that deeper understanding which can be toilsome and painful. Construct you me into a walk we both believe in.
That sounds almost gory, I'm imagining bodies fused poetically together into some flowing organic highway, but then again I have the imagination of someone on hallucinogenic drugs who is not on hallucinogenic drugs but just sees the world as a kind of flexible swab of multicolored clay. Willy Wonka's ride onto the kaleidoscope of endless possibility. One of the less psychedelic souls that I've met put this into a physics formula once saying that anything is possible, technically. Pick your imagination springboard, be it physical or poetical...musical even. Mary Poppins and the children holding hands, plunging into a pastel painting on the sidewalk.
Sometimes, you have to leave things messy and disgusting, because that's how they're going to be no matter what you do. Maybe, just maybe, if you leave that mess alone it can biodegrade on its own (hopefully it's biodegradable,) and the worms will slowly reincorporate it into the earth and peace will come back to you eventually. It's even possible that with time something new and dazzling will grow from that wretched putrification...but you have to let that shit do it's thing.
I have loved deeply but love isn't always enough. We have this fantasy in our culture that once Cupid's arrow hits, there's a happy ending in clear site. Maybe this myth is hurtful to our psyches because it's too simplistic and doesn't actually capture what happens in life.
Two people have to work to understand each other and to fuse a path that they want to walk together. The pleasure and delight and even the passion of it isn't enough to fuse that deeper understanding which can be toilsome and painful. Construct you me into a walk we both believe in.
